Bungeons and Bragons ][: The Legally Separate Entity

You are standing in the hallway of a dimly lit dungeon. All around you is solid stonework, exactly like the kind you've been walking down the past two days. Surely the lost treasure of McGlarf must be close by now. Your torch flickers a lttle and extinguishes, the last of its fuel spent. Luckily, there are a few fresh torches attached to the wall at regular intervals. Do you: [[Take a torch from the wall]] [[Stumble on in the near-darkness]]

You discard your old torch and grab a new one from the wall sconce. As you hold it in your hand, you reflect on the vast amount of cost and effort somebody must go to to keep these lit. [[I'm not sure about this economic model|Continue]]

You decide you can see well enough, and so you don't need to steal from whomever owns this dungeon. Immediately, you trip on a loose rock and stumble to the floor. Ouch. [[Get back up]] [[Lay on the floor for a minute and contemplate your actions]]

As you hold the new torch, the light illuminates a rock that you clearly would have tripped on if you hadn't seen it. Continuing down the corridor, you realize you can hear a nearby fountain. Realizing your thirst, you decide to stop for a drink. [[Continue to the fountain]]

Quickly you stand back up, lest anyone think you were injured. "I'm alright, I meant to do that," you say to an empty corridor. As you dust yourself off, you realize you can hear running water. There must be a fountain nearby, and you realize you haven't drank anything in hours. [[Continue to the fountain]]

As you lay sprawled on the stonework, you realize your magic compass took the brunt of the fall and shattered. That cheap back-alley wizard had better still have your gold when you get out of here! As they were purchased as a set (it was such a bargain!) the map you were holding in your other hand starts to fade, leaving a blank piece of paper. [[Oh well]]

As you collect yourself and gingerly stand back up, you realize you can hear running water...there must be some sort of fountain nearby! Hearing the water forces you to realize you haven't drank anything in hours. [[Continue to the fountain]]

The fountain sits in a small recess in the wall. Two identical gargoyles face each other on the walls, alternately spewing sparkling blue water into a basin. Do you: [[Drink from the left gargoyle.]] [[Drink from the right gargoyle.]]

You extend your cupped hands under the water for a taste, and find the water to be delicious and refreshing. After taking a longer drink, you decide to fill your water jug. [[Much better, it's important to stay hydrated don't you know|Keep walking]]

You extend your cupped hands under the water for a taste, and find the water to be delicious and refreshing. After taking a longer drink, you decide to fill your water jug. [[Ahh, that's the stuff.|Keep Walking]]

Further along, you come upon a large wooden door, and a small goblin leaning against the wall in front of it. But, he appears to either be lost in thought or asleep, as he doesn't seem to notice you approaching. [[Can't say I blame him, it's awfully dull in here|Next]]

Upon closer examination, you can see a golden key on the goblin's belt, no doubt for the door he's supposed to be guarding. Carefully you reach out and attempt to grab the key quietly; but you accidentally brush his arm, which brings him back to the present. "Mm! Manflesh! Try to get my key? Not that easy, hee hee!" [[Try to explain yourself]] [[Ask politely for the key]] [[Stand there awkwardly]]

Upon closer examination, you can see a golden key on the goblin's belt, no doubt for the door he's supposed to be guarding. Carefully you reach out and attempt to grab the key quietly; but you accidentally brush his arm, which brings him back to the present. "Mm! Manflesh! Try to get my key? Not that easy, hee hee!" he laughs. Do you: [[Try to explain yourself|squeak2]] [[Ask politely for the key|squeak2]] [[Stand there awkwardly|ded]]

As you open your mouth to speak, you find your voice to be magically changed! Instead of your cool collected self, you speak in a sort of high-pitched squeak, almost as if you had inhaled helium; but as this is a sort of medieval setting, you have no idea what helium is. Your voice causes the goblin to laugh heartily, rolling around on the floor: "Hee hee! Many before you fall for that trick! Don't drink the wrong water! Hee heeeeeeeee!" The utter spectacle of the situation causes you no end of embarrassment, and you turn and run in terror. Not looking where you are going, you step on that rock from earlier and fly headlong into the stone wall, concussing you. The world goes dark. [[Oh darn. Try again?|Start]]

Both of you stand there for several minutes, looking everywhere except each other. Finally you gather the courage to speak: "I am searching for the lost treasure of McGlarf!" Gasp! You find your voice to be magically changed! Instead of your normal voice, you speak in a sort of high-pitched squeak, almost as if you had inhaled helium; but as this is a sort of pseudo-medieval setting, you have no idea what helium actually is. Your voice causes the goblin to laugh heartily, rolling around on the floor: "Hee hee! Many before you fall for that trick! Don't drink the wrong water! Hee heeeeeeeee!" [[Next|ded2]]

Both of you stand there for several minutes, looking everywhere except each other. Finally you gather the courage to speak: "I am searching for the lost treasure of McGlarf!" Ooh. Your commanding tone causes a small shiver to run up your spine. The goblin is clearly impressed. "McGlarf! Yes! Many before you seek treasure! Many go through this door, nobody comes out. Elves, yes! Few dwarves, mm! All vanish!" Through this goblin's pidgin English, you ascertain the treasure is within reach! Finally! Oh joy! "To get to McGlarf, you must go through ME!" the goblin shrieks, drawing a dagger. Hearing his shrill voice activates your old training and you calmly draw your own sword. [[Next|trap!]]

"May I have your key, please? I am searching for the lost treasure of McGlarf!" You ask in your politest but firmest tone. The goblin stares in shock at you for a minute, his jaw agape. "McGlarf! Yes! Many before you seek treasure! Many go through this door, nobody comes out. Elves, yes! Few dwarves, mm! All vanish!" Through this goblin's pidgin English, you ascertain the treasure is within reach! Finally! Oh joy! "Many come, nobody ask nicely! Mm! You the first!" With that, the goblin reaches into a sack next to him and pulls out a silver key. "This real key! Real treasure! Ya-hah!" [[Next|skulls]]

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Finally the goblin stops laughing. "McGlarf! Many before you seek treasure! Many go through this door, nobody comes out. Elves, yes! Few dwarves, mm! All vanish!" Through this goblin's pidgin English, you ascertain the treasure is within reach! Finally! Oh joy! "To get to McGlarf, you must go through ME!" In a flash, the goblin pulls out a dagger and leaps toward you. You attempt to draw your own sword, but your reflexes are no match. His dagger finds its way to your chest and you collapse. [[Oh bugger. Try again?|Start]]

As you trade blows with the goblin for a while, he definitely takes the lion's share of injuries. Finally he drops his dagger. "No more! Mercy! Manflesh not kill! Me gives you key! Yes! Key to treasure room!" Taking a deep breath, you relax and put your sword back in its sheath. Trembling, the goblin hands you the key. Success! "A wise decision, goblin." you tell him with surety. With key in hand, you step up to the large door. Confidently you insert the key and turn it. You can faintly hear mechanisms creaking and groaning. And then... [[Yes?]]

The ground you stand on falls away and you fall into a bottomless pit. On the way down, you are sure you can hear that goblin cackling. [[Well then. Try again?|Start]]

Just goes to show it never hurts to ask, you guess. As you open the door with the proper key, you notice for the first time that giant ornate skulls are carved into the door. Whomever the carver was shows some great talent, and they are in no way a foreshadowing of what lays beyond the door. Probably. [[Yeah sure]]

As you step through to the next room, you are blinded by a dazzling array of golden objects! What isn't golden is covered in an expensive amount of diamonds, rubies and other stones. This is more gold than you or anybody you know have ever seen, perhaps more than even the king owns! In the center of the room stands a pedestal with a gold and silver statue of a figure with a sword. This can only be the fabled treasure of McGlarf! You can scarcely believe it, and you nearly trip over one of the many skeletons you now see littering the floor. [[I'm sure those are just decoration.|Checkpoint]]

Apparently that goblin wasn't a complete liar, as it's clear these bones are from other treasure hunters. You wonder aloud what could have killed them all, as you can see many of them have quite advanced weapons. Almost as in answer to your question, you hear a click overhead, and a ornately mirrored panel swings open. You feel a rush of wind, and that almost certainly means something is about to fall on you. Do you: [[Attempt to dodge out of the way|dodge]] [[Remain rooted to the spot in abject fear|splat]]

The wind stops, and you can hear what you can only describe as a "shlorpy" sound echoes in the chamber. Suddenly a giant sphere of...gelatinous liquid?...emerges! With your quick reflexes, you leap out of the splat zone. Clearly this is the true guardian of the treasure, and will not be an easy fight. Do you: [[Swing your sword at it]] [[Try reasoning with it]] [[Try alternate tactics]]

The wind stops, and you can hear what you can only describe as a "shlorpy" sound echoes in the chamber. Suddenly a giant sphere of...gelatinous liquid?...emerges and before you can move, it envelops you. It assaults all your senses at once and you must act fast before it kills you. Do you: [[Scream like a banshee]] [[Attempt to eat your way out]] [[Draw your weapon and fight]]

You attempt to draw breath to scream, but what little sound you can get out only serves to make the jelly-o monster wiggle a bit before your lungs fill up with the ooze and you suffocate. You died. [[Well dang.|Checkpoint]]

You open your mouth and take a bite of the monster. "Sure why not," you think to yourself. "Can't be any worse than the food at that inn last week." AS the ooze hits your tongue, you find that it is flavored with lemon and green apples. Not wholly unpleasant, but unfortunatly these are two foods you are deathly allergic to. You break out immediately and go into shock. You died. [[Oh, what are the chances?!|Checkpoint]]

You attempt to pull your sword out, but the properties of the non-Newtonian ooze means that the harder you exert force the harder it resists. You are unable to attack before it envelops you and you suffocate. You died. [[That's cheating!|Checkpoint]]

You take your trusty sword out and prepare to do battle with the monster. You swing your sword into the mass and some of it comes away. With a ghastly moan, the severed bits dissolve and you can see the place they came from start to heal instantly and soon it is as if you did no damage to the creature at all. [[Oh bums.]]

You do not draw your sword, but instead decide to use logic and reasoning. Attempting to argue the complete unliklihood of a sentient monster made entirely of gelatin falls on deaf ears, possibly because it has no ears to begin with. How it is even ambulatory is beyond you, frankly. [[Right, I'm sure insults are totally the way to go.|Oh bums.]]

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"CHECKPOINT!" You hear a voice yell, but no-one else is in the room. Huh. Best not think about it. [[Ok...?|I'm sure those are just decoration.]]

The monster starts to flex and undulate, and moves to envelop you. You feel pain over every part of your body, even parts you weren't sure you still had. You died. [[Well that went well.|Checkpoint]]